


Happy Ducking Christmas

by shuns



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Banter, Christmas, Fairest of the Rate Gift Exchange 2019, Fluff so much fluff, M/M, No ducks were corrupted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21855628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuns/pseuds/shuns
Summary: Draco and Theo's first Christmas together included something unexpected under the tree. The note on Theo's gift should have read,Happy Ducking Christmas.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Theodore Nott
Comments: 12
Kudos: 27
Collections: Fairest's Secret Santa Drabble Exchange 2019





	Happy Ducking Christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DemiCatra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemiCatra/gifts).



> Happy Christmas DemiCatra! Your prompt was great, I hope you don't mind the surprise addition of a duck.

“Theo, what is that?” Draco stared at his gift like a mooncalf at a new gate. 

“Draco you can’t be that thick. It’s an egg.”

“Yes, Theo, I know it is an egg. But why? I would understand an occamy egg, a phoenix egg, even a dragon egg. This is just a common egg. Are you asking me to make you breakfast in the most passive-aggressive way possible?” 

The tall, dark man tinkering with the multi-lens magi-specs Draco had thoughtfully gifted him shrugged his shoulders with practised insouciance. “No, you wanker. It's a peacock egg. I found it near the pen when I consulted with your mother on Lucius's appeal. I thought it would remind you of home. Tea?” He floated the pot, cup and saucer over. 

Draco's brow furrowed. Potter' cringeworthy testimony saved him from Azkaban. Theo and his townhouse saved him from Mother's aggressive redecorating. He fled the Manor after pointing out the five swatches of cream his mother was fretting over were in fact all the same. Mother animated the furniture and a chesterfield chased him around the parlour. Death by chintz had no appeal, he flooed to Theo's. Theo kisses left him breathless and his furniture was well behaved but Draco had told him he missed hearing the peacocks' morning screeches.

Draco looked at the pale blue-green egg, usually, they were white. A new breed? Like him? “I don’t have any of the incubators. Or feed.”

Theo nodded, “Fine, then pop it in a pan a little butter, salt and pepper, there's a good lad.”

Draco hugged the egg to his side, “Not funny. This is a Malfoy peafowl, not breakfast. Have some class.”

“So, truffle butter then? Or an omelette?” Theo chuckled, “I’m joking Drake. Don’t be…” his eyes sparkling, “such a mother hen.”

Draco groaned and stomped from the room holding the egg, carefully.

* * *

  
_Three visits to Diagon Alley for gear, two hours spent talking with Hagrid about chickens and one long month later..._

Draco's quill snapped for the sixteenth time. Explaining to Mother that Pansy Parkinson was many things - a gold-digger, a graceless harpy, probably a quarter succubus - but not want he wanted in a partner was proving difficult. He looked up at a crack, not from his quill. The egg rocked and a crack split the shell. 

Draco shouted for Theo who arrived in time to say, “It’s yellow. Should it be yellow?”

Draco had never paid attention to the newly hatched peafowl, they were his father’s domain. “I think they moult as adults.”

“And their feet are normally orange and webbed?”

"I don’t know what their feet should look like, Theo. They’re feet.”

“Draco, I don’t think that's a peacock. I think it's a duck.”

Draco glared, “It is not a duck. He is a peacock and I won’t have you discouraging him.”

“Him?”

“Him. He is a peacock, she is a peahen, therefore, it is a he.”

“No, it is neither, because that is a duck. I must have mixed up the eggs. So do we name him or will that be too awkward when we roast him with root vegetables?” 

Draco threw himself between the wizard and the hatchling, “Apologize for implying you would eat him."

"I will not. I was not implying. Oh, let's call him Dinner."

"No, Theo."

"Fine, Lunch? Or Brunch?"

Draco rolled his eyes and spoke over Theo, "His name should be something noble, regal …”

“Dick." Two things remained constant for Theo from Hogwarts thru adulthood, his love of wizards and dick jokes. He had named his love wand 'Nott Little’. “Let’s call him Dick the Duck, Drake.” Theo leaned down to peer at the little ball of fluff who had promptly fallen asleep once it broke free of the egg.“What you think duckie, want to be Dickie?’

Draco picked up the sleeping duckling, “We are not naming him Dick the Duck. Because HE IS NOT A DUCK.” The hatchling let out a small muffled noise, like a quack but obviously not, because he was not a duck.

Theo grinned at Draco, “If it looks like a duck and it quacks…”

Draco pulled out his wand, “Finish that sentence."

* * *

Richard the Peacock when Draco called him or Dick the Duck when Theo did, became a fixture in the house. The fowl had imprinted on Theo and Draco and following them everywhere. It was charming until the bird interrupted a particularly vigorous snogging session. According to Draco, Richard's cockblocking was territorial. Theo thought Dick's coitus interduckus was bloody annoying. 

Thankfully, when the fowl moulted he turned the perfect shade of cream, and Narcissa fell in love with it, using him as inspiration for the remodelled drawing-room. She would even cock/duck sit so the boys could have alone time.

They were one big happy ducking family. 

  
  


  
  
  
  
  



End file.
